Research ((Opinions into the sex education system))

Opinions into the sex education system

Person 1 Transgender/non-binary- "It's basically as if trans people don't exist within the concept of sex, nor LGBT people at all. The only couples that we talk about are cis straight ones. Sitting there as kid who's questioning and being shown "this is what's normal" is crushing because it feels like there's no space for you in the world. It's also really unhelpful for cis straight kids too because they have no exposure to LGBT people so they never see anything beyond this idea of normal either. I asked one of my teachers why there's never any LGBT content and I was told that was "inappropriate". Basically the education board seems to have forgotten that we exist."

Person 2 Agender/non-binary- "Sex education on the national curriculum does not draw enough attention to sexual diversity and uses very cisnormative language, equating penises to being a man and vaginas to being a woman. Intersex people were never spoken of and trans issues remained hidden during the only discussion on LGBT issues (which consisted of PowerPoint with a slide of gay celebrities and a caption that read "these people are gay, do you feel any differently about them now you know this?" yes, really).

The curriculum surrounding sex education did not provide me, or other LGBT folk, with any knowledge or resources. This resulted in me identifying (unhappily) as male for THREE YEARS after i discovered transgender people. Because if I wasn't female, I MUST be male, right? More needs to be done about sex education in schools to help LGBT youth discover themselves. It won't make more kids gay/bi/trans, it'll make more kids themselves"

Person 3 Agender- "Something which has always eluded me is what is the point of sex education? Literally, what is the point? In year 6, we had “sex education”, it wasn’t really. It didn’t mention sex, nor relationships. It was more puberty education, but all I remember is being told we need to wash our hair more as we hit puberty. Thanks. We were told that if we had any questions we had to write them on a piece of paper and put them in a box on the front desk. I understand it’s embarrassing to ask some questions, but the point is- it shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be made to feel that asking questions about sex is so shameful I can only ask them anonymously. Sex education in high school, was again not sex or relationship education. Instead it was biology: we labelled diagrams. Thanks, now I know where ovaries are. In PSE/PSHE we had one lesson about contraception (this lesson also included drugs, it was kind of Two Awkward Subjects In One). The only thing I remember is a video of a couple going into a shed to have sex. The teacher mentioned ‘Dutch Double’, which is, I think, where you use condoms and the pill. Everything I know about sex, I know through TV/media, friends, and Google. Quickly: I understand British people to be awkward about sex. Someone suggested to me the other day that this is because we don’t dance, if you look at Latin American dance it suggests they have a much healthier relationship with their bodies. Having said that, I am more awkward talking about sex than most. I wonder (and I have to say wonder, because I am not yet sure how to label myself) if this is because I am uncomfortable with the term “heterosexual”. I have considered asexuality, and bisexuality, but I’m not quite certain and that’s okay. The embarrassing thing is, I didn’t even know what asexuality was until a few years ago. Becoming more and more common is transgender/non-binary gender, which I didn’t know anything about until my Dad came out as transgender two years ago. My Dad has grown up and lived not knowing what was wrong with him/her. This is not how people should be made to feel. Equally, one of my best friends now identifies as gay, but, as is quite common, he went straight-bi-straight-gay-bi before finally realising he is gay. As I am a drama student, I met very early on lots of gay people, and it was a fairly normal part of my teenage life. A friend of mine is a devout Christian and until she went to university hadn’t really met someone who publicly identifies as homosexual. She messaged me saying “gay people are so much fun!” a few weeks into university (we shall ignore the blatant, but accidental, homophobic pre-justice there!). She also said she was never against homosexuality, she just doesn’t encourage it. That, in itself, shows just how lacking LGBTQ+ sex/relationship education is. I once asked in a school council meeting if we could improve sex education, and I was told it was up to the government. Bullshit is it. It’s up to individual schools to stop wasting our time in RE/PSE classes reading the same Eurocentric, heteronormative, misogynist crap we’re taught and teach us something useful! Teach us about safe sex, teach us how a relationship works, tell us what oral sex is, tell us that women should be comfortable to get pleasure from sex because they are not flesh-lights, tell us what sex toys are, tell us that masturbation is not shameful, then tell us how babies are made."

Person 4 ((French)) Transgender- “well sex education pissed me off. I tried to ask questions to the teacher about sex between two mans or two woman, or even for people in between, and the teacher just ignored me, while the whole class was laughing. i don't know, i was curious and just ended making myself look stupid it really made me uncomfortable, and made me thinking that i was weird i think that should change because i know that man other people ended like me many* and that many kids were feeling bad about this sorry that's a topic that really makes me angry”

Person 5 Questioning- “okay so all i remember for sex ed was basics, like we were taught about things we already knew really or like what parents would tell their kids. There wasn't much diversity at all, for the girls we were taught about straight sex and protection and everything but there was nothing on gay sex. They didn't teach us about other genders or homosexuality at all, i feel like their method was 'make sure they don't get pregnant' rather than teach everyone about love and what not. Schools should teach kids about the variety of genders and sexualities because there are so many kids questioning themselves and if they don't get told about it they think of themselves as abnormal and can cause them distress and mental problems. Honestly I remember leaving the class and thinking 'that wasn't helpful to me at all', people like me have had the internet to rely on because we know that we will not get taught it in school.”

Person 6 Mother to 2 kids in secondary school- “they said no one talks about sex ed!! They've not done anything about gender preferences or how someone feels being in wrong body etc”

Person 7 Mother of 3 kids who were homeschooled- “They actually covered this in school, although we still had conversations at home regarding sexuality and gender diversity. I think we just talked about gender roles as perceived by society, heterosexuality and homosexuality and gender fluidity and whether people are born that way or decide for themselves at puberty (or maybe before). How people who are not heterosexual are often treated by society etc. How men and women should be treated as equals. Not to be homophobic. Pink toys and Blue toys and how ridiculous that is. They all played with dolls and a kiddie kitchen, by choice. The glass ceiling for women and how it is slowly changing. Prominent women in politics, science and business etc."